Do You Speak God’s Love Language?
by Christine Egbert
Gary Chapman, an acclaimed Christian marriage counselor and writer, published a number 1, New York Times bestseller titled, “The 5 Love Languages” back in 1992. His premise was that people feel loved when it is expressed through 1 of 5 love languages: 1. Words of affirmation; 2. Quality time; 3. Receiving gifts; 4. Acts of service; and 5. Physical touch.
Each person, Gary hypothesizes, is fluent in two of these five love languages. All of the five, however, can be appreciated by most of us to some degree or another on various occasions, such as receiving gifts on one’s birthday.
As a result of Gary’s years of experience as a Christian marriage counselor, he discovered a sad fact. Many spouses begin to feel unloved, unappreciated simply because the husband and wife do not express their love for their spouse in their spouse’s language. Instead they express it in their own love language. Over time, this leads to problems in the marriage, to what Gary Chapman calls having a near empty “love tank.”
Gary’s solution to this communication problem is simple. Husbands and wives need to fill their spouse’s love tank by figuring out what their spouse’s two love languages are, then begin communicating love in those two love languages, instead of their own love language. If the wife’s two love languages are words of affirmation and spending quality time together, her husband’s acts of service and giving of gifts (his two love languages) won’t fill her empty love tank.
Recently, I began thinking about Gary’s premise in relation to showing our love to God. We must learn to speak the Most High’s love language. But what is it? Rest assured, it’s not physical touch. The other four, however, do have biblical standing.
- Words of affirmation (Praise)
- Quality time (prayer/ Bible study)
- Gifts (burnt offerings/the O’lah)
- Acts of service (mitzvot/ good works).
But none of these are God’s primary love language. How do I know? Because God stresses His love language over and over, throughout the Scriptures. The Creator’s primary love language is OBEDIENCE!
Deuteronomy 5:9-10 I, Jehovah your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of fathers on sons, and on the third, and on the fourth generation of those that hate Me, and doing kindness to thousands of those who love Me and keep My commandments.
Deuteronomy 7:9 Because of this, know that Jehovah your God, He is God, the faithful God, keeping the covenant and mercy to those who love Him, and to those who keep His commands, to a thousand generations.
Deuteronomy 10:12 And now, Israel, what has Jehovah your God asked of you, except to fear Jehovah your God, to walk in all His ways, and to love Him, and to serve Jehovah your God with all your heart, and with all your soul.
Deuteronomy 11:1 And you shall love Jehovah your God, and keep His charge, and His statutes and His judgments, and His commandments all the days.
Deuteronomy 11:13 And it shall be, if listening you will listen to My commands which I command you today, to love Jehovah your God, and to serve Him with all your heart, and with all your soul.
Deuteronomy 11:22 For if keeping you will keep this command which I am commanding you, to do it, to love Jehovah your God, to walk in all His ways, and to cleave to Him.
Deuteronomy 19:9 if you will keep these commandments which I am commanding you today, to love Jehovah your God, and to walk in His ways forever, then you shall add to yourself another three cities to these three.
Deuteronomy 30:16 in that I am commanding you today to love Jehovah your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commands and His statutes, and His judgments, and you shall live and multiply, and Jehovah your God shall bless you in the land where you are going in, to possess it.
Joshua 22:5 Only, be very much on guard to do the commands and the Law which Moses the servant of Jehovah commanded you, to love Jehovah your God, and to walk in all His ways, and to keep His commandments, and to cleave to Him, and to serve Him with all your heart and with all your soul.
Daniel 9:4 And I prayed to Jehovah my God, and made my confession, saying, O Lord, the great and awesome God, keeping the covenant and mercy of those who love Him, and to those who keep His commandments.
Isaiah 29:13 And the Lord says, Because this people draws near with its mouth, and they honor Me with its lip; but its heart is far from Me, and their fear of Me is taught by the commandments of men.
John 14:15 If you love Me, keep My commandments.
John 14:21 He that has My commandments and keeps them, it is that one who loves Me; and the one that loves Me shall be loved by My Father, and I shall love him and will reveal Myself to him.
John 14:23 Jesus answered and said to him, If anyone loves Me, he will keep My Word, and My Father shall love him. And We will come to him and will make a dwelling place with him.
John 14:24 The one who does not love Me does not keep My Words. And the Word which you hear is not Mine but of the Father who sent Me.
1st John 5:2 By this we know that we love the children of God: when we love God and keep His commandments.
1st John 5:3 For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; and His commandments are not heavy.